Earthlings have a curious habit of celebrating days – New Year’s day, day when Christ was born, day he came back after being dead for few days and then died again, birth of so many other gods, anniversaries and so on. One of these days however is significant for the only surviving members of genus homo – the birthday. No no it is not just a day one decided to eject out of a uterus. Well think about it, the fetus all closeted inside comfortably, being carried to different places by the mother, getting free food and everything, yes of course its a bit shoddy in there with arteries crossing over veins and bad smelling utera-l fluid, but the fetus doesn’t know better.Then it grows and grows and the brain grows and grows even more and it picks up sounds and touches and starts getting curious. ‘What is it exactly ‘out’ there?’ it would ask itself. ‘Where am I?’, ‘Can I go ‘outside’?’, and so day by day the curiosity increases till it reaches the point where it can take no more. It wants to get out, feel, see what’s outside? decide for itself once and for all its position with respect to the vast space unknown to it, such objective evaluation of its situation now becomes imperative and so the fetus pushes, wriggles, wants to get out, break free from the cage. (Though by all means it is much better off inside, getting a free pass, it doesn’t realize what it is jumping into, tremendous leap of faith.)
And then the passage, nothing could be harder than that, many a smart fetus will not be willing to take it, they would request an easier way out, ‘rather cut mommy’s tummy please’. But no this fetus decided to bear it all, and with mixed hopes, with faint recollections of comforting touches and mellow sounds, it starts the quest. it sees the light at the end of the tunnel, fills it with hope and excitement, but now something is killing it, these sounds ‘oh they are not dulcet anymore’, ‘no someone’s shrieking’, and ‘why does it smell so different’ and then something starts pulling it out, it hurts ‘Ouch’, and the it goes like ‘was it good idea?’, ‘i think i was was better off there’. then it doesn’t want to come out, but then its now in alien hands, it has no choice..
Suspended upside down, alien pair of hands tapping its back, others looking at its private parts, categorizing it and then the vigorous tap, it regrets, finally breaks into a cry,
‘mistake, mistake. i wanna go back’,
‘too late now’
‘but i just wanted to see what’s outside’
‘so you will’
‘but i don’t want to anymore, please let me go back to my uterus’
‘na-a, not happening, thats not your uterus, thats your mom now, you will rush to her occasionally, though Freud thinks you’ll eventually be in love with your father and envy your brother, wait you don’t have one yet’
‘who’s freud, who’s father, who’s brother’
‘let me go back go back :((‘
‘too late kid’, the hands say, handing it over to some other pair of hands, ‘go suck’
So it happens that somewhere around this day, 24 years earlier, I accidently took a bite of the apple of knowledge, and left my eden. They tell me the exact day celebrating my fall happens to be 21st Feb. By some smart design they kept the first two labels of all days in a circular order, so they can remind me of the mistake I made after every earth’s revolution about the sun.